firstly the cheers to my buddy Josh for actually adverstising me what. a. dood.
right now he's my only follower but I intend to mooch some of his millions of fans sometime anyway, he has fans in china... wierd.
And next my favourite part and the whole reason I wanted to blog in the first place, ranting about stuff I don't like.
todays topic being the ups and downs of small kids, listen in boys and girls;
I know two small kids, for privacy reasons I will call them Phil and Becky. Becky is 5 and Phil is 3.
becky says cute small child things, I like toddler talk, it's hilarious. she once told me the hedgrow outside her house was the home of a dragon called peter who wanted to eat her.
Phil says nothing discernible, he is for all intents and purposes an especially mobile baby. he screams and dribbles and breaks stuff and given a heavy object once nearly broke his mother's leg.
In my expert opinion he is a walking screaming shitting tool of death. I mean he can't even put his clothes on by himself but he can destroy a £1200 tv with expert precision.
luckily, I'm not just a whiner and have designed a most elegant solution...
that's right, straitjacket babygrows!!!! coming to a tesco near you VERY VERY SOON
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